And then...

...And then you know. You watch him play with that child and the way his smile forms and his face lightens up and he doesn't know, but that was the first time you've pictured your future next to someone. And somehow from that moment on you couldn't think about yourself 5 or 10 years from now without thinking about him next to you. Somehow from that moment on it's not just about you anymore, it's about the two of you, and the word "us" has taken a whole other sense, it's like "together" just feels like perfect when it describes how the two of you are.

And then you're just waiting for the bus and it's raining and it's cold but you know for a fact that you've never felt so warm inside, ever. And you're aware that moments like that are the ones no one ever remembers about but you do. And you remember that there were days when you had more but it felt like nothing and now it's that day when you don't have much, you have a fucking bus station and a rainy day and all the reasons to feel like this is nothing, but you have him and that's why it doesn't just feel like everything, you actually know you have everything.

And then you watch him sleep so peacefully and you know that you have everything you've ever wanted before you and it strikes you that you never knew you could love anyone that much. But you do. And you never thought that you could be this happy. But you are. Happiness is real. It's tangible. He's there. Happiness is HIM.

And then there's that day when he's sad and your heart breaks because you just can't stand seeing him like that. It's like you feel what he's feeling. It's like he's a part of you. And you just want to stop anything and anyone that could hurt him, and you just hope that it's not going to be you that you'll have to stop one day.

And then you know.

You love him.
And there's no way back.

It's as simple and as complicated as that.